SEASON 6 REVIEW: DEXTER (SPOILER WARNING)

Here’s your warning. This post is full of spoilers from the entire season. Don’t you dare click the link below, read my review and then blast me for spoiling it for you.

Go spoiler go!

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SEASON REVIEW: AMERICAN HORROR STORY (SPOILER)

Spoiler alert!

Click ahead if you dare.

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I’LL JUST WAIT FOR THE REAL ‘NEW YEAR’S EVE’

1. WAIT, WHAT HAPPENED? CRAP, I’M LOST.

I’m not keeping up with 10 different mini storylines. I shouldn’t feel like I need a notepad to write down everything that’s going on. Coco Chanel once advised that after getting dressed you should always remove one piece of jewelry. This makes you notice the details of your outfit and remove the article that doesn’t add value to your ensemble.

The same could be said about this movie. Take critical notice of each vignette and remove the ones that don’t add value to the movie as a whole. It’s a better idea than cramming as many stars as possible in one movie.

2. EXCUSE ME, WHY ARE YOU HERE?

Ashton Kutcher and Jessica Biel were in Valentine’s Day. Why are they also in this new movie? Do they really bring so much emotion and charisma to these rom-com ensembles that their absences would be noticeable?

I’ve also noticed these movies have an odd mix of veteran actors and newbies. Robert DeNiro…what? Michelle Pfeiffer and Zac Efron as a couple? Does-not-compute.

3. TODAY’S TOP ACTORS ARE MISSING FROM THE MOVIE.

You’d think that such a large ensemble cast would have at least two of the biggest stars in Hollywood right now. Wrong! This seems like an ‘in-between’ movie. I get the impression some of these actors signed on because it’s been a couple of years since they did a movie (or it’s been a couple of years since they were in a HIT movie) and this is a good way to get press.

I think New Year’s Eve would’ve performed better if they had some of the top actors in Hollywood involved in this movie:

Robert Downey, Jr.
Emma Stone
Michael Fassbender
One of the Twilight actors (yea, I said it. They’re a big draw right now. Prove me wrong.)
Amanda Seyfried
Justin Timberlake
Carey Mulligan
Ryan Gosling
Joseph Gordon Levitt

And the list goes on.

4. HOW MANY FREAKING HOLIDAYS ARE GOING TO BE FILMED?

Valentine’s Day, now New Year’s Eve. Ok, we get it. Please save us from ‘Christmas Day’, ‘Labor Day’, ‘July 4th’, etc. It must stop.


POOR HERMAN CAIN.

I feel bad for Herman.

Just to be clear, I had no intentions to vote for his ass. I wasn’t secretly rooting for him just because he’s a black man and I’m a black woman and black folks need to stick together.

I feel like Cain was arrogant to think that he could run for president even though he has some skeletons in his closet (Ginger White and those pesky sexual harassment claims that were settled by the National Restaurant Association). So why do I feel bad for him? I guess it’s because he was a new-comer in the world of Washington politics and he looked like he was trying so damn hard to fit in.

I think Herman made two mistakes though:

1. HE KEPT TELLING THE MEDIA THAT HE WASN’T SURE IF HE’D CONTINUE FIGHTING.

Remember that one Republican debate where Cain successfully pounded his 9-9-9 plan into the ground? Yes, I know there’s been over a thousand Republican debates but try to focus here. The very next day the media reported Cain had surged to the top of the polls.

During one interview around that time, Cain revealed that lack of support and lack of media coverage made him question whether or not he should continue his presidential bid. Then he decided to stick with it and the moral of the story is: don’t give up.

Cain, don’t tell people that you thought of giving up. Running for president is hard. Really hard. But you always have to appear confident.

Then, once the Ginger White story broke Cain said he would make an announcement about his campaign’s future. He decided to stick it out. Then a few days later he told the media once more that he was going to ponder his future, and FINALLY he put himself out of his misery. Dude, seriously.

2. WHERE THE HELL WAS HIS WIFE AND FAMILY?

I’ll admit that I wasn’t closely following Cain so maybe I’m about to write something stupid and misinformed. Feel free to correct me.

Republicans like to pretend that they care about family values, so usually they all make a point to introduce their spouses to the world. I don’t know anything about Gloria Cain. Do they even have kids? Seems like Herman was so concerned on getting his 9-9-9 plan out to the masses that he forgot to bring the Missus around.

She seems like a sweet lady. Too bad she has a husband that allegedly┬ácan’t keep his hands to himself, and he also had a secret “friendship” with Ginger White that included paying her rent and utilities.

The best way to fight off scandal like that is to bring the wife around and present a united front. Pretend that you’re a family man and you’ll have a better chance of weathering the storm.

All of this is just hindsight though. Folks, here’s a very important piece of advice. If you have done some shady shit in your life, stay out of the political arena. I know alot of people will say “we all make mistakes in life” but you need to decide whether your mistakes are anything that you can spin or overcome on your way to the White House.