I’LL JUST WAIT FOR THE REAL ‘NEW YEAR’S EVE’

1. WAIT, WHAT HAPPENED? CRAP, I’M LOST.

I’m not keeping up with 10 different mini storylines. I shouldn’t feel like I need a notepad to write down everything that’s going on. Coco Chanel once advised that after getting dressed you should always remove one piece of jewelry. This makes you notice the details of your outfit and remove the article that doesn’t add value to your ensemble.

The same could be said about this movie. Take critical notice of each vignette and remove the ones that don’t add value to the movie as a whole. It’s a better idea than cramming as many stars as possible in one movie.

2. EXCUSE ME, WHY ARE YOU HERE?

Ashton Kutcher and Jessica Biel were in Valentine’s Day. Why are they also in this new movie? Do they really bring so much emotion and charisma to these rom-com ensembles that their absences would be noticeable?

I’ve also noticed these movies have an odd mix of veteran actors and newbies. Robert DeNiro…what? Michelle Pfeiffer and Zac Efron as a couple? Does-not-compute.

3. TODAY’S TOP ACTORS ARE MISSING FROM THE MOVIE.

You’d think that such a large ensemble cast would have at least two of the biggest stars in Hollywood right now. Wrong! This seems like an ‘in-between’ movie. I get the impression some of these actors signed on because it’s been a couple of years since they did a movie (or it’s been a couple of years since they were in a HIT movie) and this is a good way to get press.

I think New Year’s Eve would’ve performed better if they had some of the top actors in Hollywood involved in this movie:

Robert Downey, Jr.
Emma Stone
Michael Fassbender
One of the Twilight actors (yea, I said it. They’re a big draw right now. Prove me wrong.)
Amanda Seyfried
Justin Timberlake
Carey Mulligan
Ryan Gosling
Joseph Gordon Levitt

And the list goes on.

4. HOW MANY FREAKING HOLIDAYS ARE GOING TO BE FILMED?

Valentine’s Day, now New Year’s Eve. Ok, we get it. Please save us from ‘Christmas Day’, ‘Labor Day’, ‘July 4th’, etc. It must stop.

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